The word “flow” keeps coming to both Angela Carolina and I this winter. It’s an interesting time for this word to surface since where I live the water is frozen right now, and where Angela lives it’s very dry. But in both places, there is water flowing, it’s just deep underground or it’s moving very slow. One of Merriam-Webster’s definitions of flow is “to proceed smoothly and readily”. The flow we’ve each been provoked to explore is not the literal water kind, it’s more the moving-through-life-in-human-form kind. But just like water in the winter and water in the desert, it’s hard to perceive the smoothness and readiness of its flow sometimes. Especially amidst big shifts, ruptures, and tender vulnerability.
Remembering that the flow exists is a practice, and as Angela and I were talking about yesterday, it can be a form of prayer. As you know we’re both going through big life transitions right now, which has meant we’ve had to let go of some plans. For example, we haven’t been able to find a shared time with our dear ones to record the last episode of Sacred season 2…so we’ve decided to experience this as an opportunity to step into the flow and acknowledge that episode 6 is asking to be the last of season 2. As we learned to sit with this, and after moving through some disappointment, it began to feel very right – did you listen to Dr. Kia’s episode?! She really took us home with some of the big concepts we explored with our guests throughout the season, especially what it means to thrive. If you haven’t listened yet, check out her episode here: https://feelthinkconnect.com/podcast/.
Another one of Merriam-Webster’s definitions of flow is “to derive from a source”. I LOVE this definition, especially in the context of remembering flow as a form of prayer! For me, stepping into the role of foster parent has required a greater capacity to feel into a flow that I am definitely not the source of. I always tell my students that children are the best teachers of flexibility and now having added the potential healing journey of the grownups that come along with them, and in the context of an immense and rigid system, calls for even more flexibility. The more I embrace that I am not the source of the flow – but that I can feel into it, and move with it, even let it carry me sometimes – the more I feel at peace with the unknown. I’ve been taught that I can choose the perspective that everything is for my learning…but I’m coming to know and sense that not everything is for my understanding. Big exhale.
Take a deep breath, if you feel it too. How’s your relationship with flow today? Where do you feel it in your body? Or is there an absence of your awareness of flow? What do you find in its place?
And now for some logistics…
For the last two years we have logged off for the month of January ending our winter break with a day-long retreat, but this year is different. This year Engage will be closed for winter break Feb 1-9. I will be logged off January 20-Feb 18. Angela will be logged off the whole month of February and she and I will retreat while we’re in person together in February.
We’d also like to let you know that the rhythm of our blog posts will be changing from monthly to seasonally. This is our winter post, so the next time we’ll post is near the spring equinox in March.
Since our February retreat will include our vision for Engage work this coming year we’d love to hear from you about what you want and need from us! Please consider sharing your thoughts here.
Angela Carolina and I wish you peace and a little bit of meaningful rough and tumble this winter!
With love and gratitude, Lauren